It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
