i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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