I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
