My nipple is on Facebook.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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