Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
