I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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