i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
