tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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