They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
