Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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