I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
