1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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