Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
So apparently I’m into choking now
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
