no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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