the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
The uberlube is also flammable
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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