I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
