I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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