My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize