Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize