You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Someone shattered a urinal.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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