Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
