If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
