Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Maybe he injected his testicle?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
