omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
