I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
