Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
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