I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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