we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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