You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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