Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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