I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
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