Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
