please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
