That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
