return my video game
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
apparently the secret to your success is patron
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
