we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
