The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
