So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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