Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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