if you like me you must not know who I am
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
