is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
