While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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