Im at strip club and am horny
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I yelled at your uterus for you.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
