flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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