ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I don't deserve a penis
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
