I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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