i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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