I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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