I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
