Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
