this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
