you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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