So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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