u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
