Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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