so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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