Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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