can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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