I'd wear matching sweaters with you
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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