me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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