Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
