let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
