Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
