Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
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