My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Randomize
