The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
