i just had sex bonerless
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
