Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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